I've been thinking, that's all I can say.

ALAS, ITS OVER!

HOW TIME FLIES! I can't believe the last paper is over. :( I know I'm supposed to be jumping for joy, and I was when I stepped out of the exam hall earlier; however, looking back now and Lord willing that all goes well, I think I'm going to terribly miss college life.

The friends that you've made throughout the course of your studies; the wonderful lecturers that has helped and guided you along the way; the lunch hours and chill-out sessions with your friends while waiting for classes to commence; the anxiety of awaiting for your results; the joy of knowing that you've done well as well as the disappointment of knowing you could have done a lil better; the random jokes that your friends make that never fail to crack you up; the funny and meaningful quotes of your lecturers that would make you remember for life; the nervousness of standing in front of the whole class to make your presentations; the words of encouragement that both your peers and lecturers offer you along the way; the craziest things you say in front of your goofy bunch of friends; the rides you share with your friends to and back from college; the frustrating moments of having to deal with un-obtained results and payment of fees; the simple compliment your peers render that lights up your day; the glorious and embarrassing moments of answering a question right, or wrong; the events that you organize with your college peers; the excitement and thrill of being a participant in college activities and events; the alarming moment of having your name called to provide answers and opinions in class; the nerve-racking but rewarding-at-times moments of having your friends sabotage you to answer a posted question by the lecturer; the laughter of the class when the lecturer unleashes his or her sense of humor; the joyful and frustrating moments of working with team members; the flexibility of going into class 10-30 minutes late sometimes (whoops *seals mouth*); the stares that you get when you walk into a classroom where everyone is well seated; the weekly renewing of your borrowed library books because you deem buying a new one a waste of money; the warm smiles that you receive in return from friends, lecturers and sometimes college staffs; the anticipation of going to class the next day especially when you love the subject and the lecturer; the thoughtful 'Hi' and 'Byes' you get from your friends who randomly pops up; the highly anxious, nervous and sometimes frightening moments of walking into the exam hall, just like today, and the list goes on, and on, and on.

I'll not be able to list everything down as it would probably take forever; but one thing for sure is that I will most certainly miss this phase of my life!

Thereby it is with much gratitude and appreciation that I would want to express a big THANK YOU to those who have been with me and who was always there for me throughout my course of undergraduate studies the past 3-4 years, friends; lecturers; family and loved ones; you know who you are. :)

To my dear friends who are still undergoing your remaining studies, ALL THE BEST, BREAK A LEG! And to those of us who will be doing our internship this coming semester, ALL THE BEST, MAY WE BRING BACK SOMETHING FROM THIS VALUABLE EXPERIENCE!

P.S: Now i've got to start worrying about buying my Office Wear =X

Signing off,

Monday, here I come!

One down, another to go!

First paper's up. 2 hours and 40 minutes were filled with much writings and anxiety for the fear of the lack of time. Well, what can I say - I did what I can within the capacity of time. As one of my lecturers so rightly put forth, "do your best and God will take care of the rest." Couldn't agree more. We'll see how this turns out.

Now is probably the time to start focusing on the next paper, after which much mental preparation is required for the upcoming adventure of internship which well, is WORK! Aiyaaaiii Captain :)

On another note, I'm thankful for those who've been around to offer me their support, directly or indirectly. Its through these support system that I gain strength to rise up when I hit rock bottom. On a personal note, Thank You for always being there to offer me your words of encouragement and drop a message every now and then out of concern; despite having to take care of your own set of challenges. I probably never told you how much it meant to me in the past; so I'm letting you know again, thank you.

It's funny sometimes, to think of how great "life" in itself actually is; with its strong, narcissistic love for itself, it instills in one a tremendous amount of will, vitality and zest to pursue and live it to its best; yet being imperfect, giving in to its mood swings, it never fails to confute you at times with the amount of lemons it tosses at you, expecting you to search for the "sweetness" within the prescribed sourness. Then there are times where it kindly shows you the road home, yet there are times where it ditches you at a crossroad, expecting you to find your own way home; whereas you know not where both of the roads may lead to. Unsure of which road you should take, you're left in a rut of uncertainties and emotions, all mixed up; and this is when you start to consult your gut feelings; and what if your gut feelings may turn out to be wrong?

This is where the question of God comes in. There are many things concerning the future which perhaps, I may not be able to fully comprehend and obtain an answer as of now, but I trust that the Lord knows what is best for me and therefore I'll leave it to Him to take care of all things, in time.

"Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand,

But I know who holds tomorrow,

And I know who holds my hand."

~Words by Ira Stanphill, 1950~

Hot Buttons.

Hot buttons - We all have them. A comment from someone who reminds you of your sensitive past may more often than not, leave you feeling sucky the whole day. Its easy to say sometimes, to look at things from a brighter perspective; but more often than not, in your attempts, you only tend to dwell on it even more. Humans - appearing strong on the outlook, but vulnerable from within. Emotions, very often get the better of us, and this perhaps is what we would have to deal with from time to time.

Yesterday night, was the day where i had my hot buttons pushed. Thanks, Aunty, you may not have realized it, but perhaps you may want to think twice before making a remark next time. I read an article the other day about how nosy Asians actually are, I never really gave much thought to it, until now.

On another note, I should have my self-defense mechanism up and running, and stop being too nice.

Signing off,

just another Saturday evening.

Heartache.

Heartaches,

They come by and go,

But this is not just like any other;

It pierces through like a sword, and leaves you grasping for air.