Thoughts at 3am in the morning.

There are times where you get so fed up with life that you just have to express your frustration, and that's exactly what i've done in my previous post. And i'd do it again if i have to in the future. Well, this is the imperfect side of me, I'm prone to emotions too, like you. You may judge me, directly or indirectly, but it's okay, because I do that sometimes too. You know, sometimes we get so concious about what others would have to say about us that we indirectly hide our feelings, we put on a mask so that others would only see the good side of us. I've come to a point where I do not wish to know too much about what others have to say about me. The thing is, as much postivity I can portray to you about the surroundings of my life, it would be a total lie if I said there is no negativity in my life. Life is not a bed of roses, it's time we learn to accept that. On a different note, it does not give us an excuse not to be optimistic about life. Verbal irony?
Nope. Well, many a times we have a choice in life. "To be or not to be", Shakespeare once said. What we would will ourselves to be or not to be is the question which underlies our attidude in life.

I have to admit I've not been really optimistic and positive about many things for the past few weeks now. Could be the stress, maybe. There are even times where i feel as though there is no real meaning to this life. Yes, I'm not afraid to admit that, now. What is the whole purpose of a blog when you're only allowed to talk about all the "good" thoughts and intentions in life? Doesn't matter what others may have to say, because whatever that is written down here is based on my personal thoughts, and I believe we're all entitled to our own, the only thing is I don't mind sharing them at this point. Coming back to the meaning of life, I believe that we all do have a purpose in this life, it's just that sometimes we're so bogged down with the cares of life that we feel as though life is meaningless. And that's how I feel sometimes, not just one time. However, it's through my family, loved ones, and friends that i gain strength from. And many times I have to remind myself to be thankful that God has given me these wonderful people to sustain and keep me sane throughout. Apart from that, it is written: "For He Himself has said, "I shall never leave you nor forsake you." and it is through Him that i find the strength to persevere and move on in life.

I used to think how wonderful it'd be if there is no pain, no sorrow, no sufferings in this life. It'd be the ideal world to live in, but I guess it would be unrealistic then, for we would then not learn to appreciate the every breath we still breathe every second, the every joy and gratification we experience after putting in our hard work, the every moment we get to spend around our loved ones. I believe then, that God is intelligent enough to have created life this way, for it is through these circumstances that we learn to appreciate time here on earth, and it's what we do with it that enhances the meaning of our life.
All said, I'm still thankful that I'm here today. And I think we all should be.

On a different note, many things have changed for the past 10 years or so, circumstances and friendship. I've had my fair share of mistakes, and that may have changed some things. (To a dear friend): I used to think it was you, but maybe it is me. I guess the world doesn't revolve around me after all. And I'm sorry if I may have caused you any hurt in between. All said, I really appreciate the bond and friendship that we had. And as much as I do not expect things to return to its "normal" circumstances, I do hope things will get better. Thanks for having been a great friend throughout, though.

Oh well, I guess life moves on. It's time to look ahead.
Have a good night all!